According to Daniel Pink, co-author of “Magic Words: What To Say To Get Your Way,” Instead of asking your kids to HELP you with chores, ask them to be your HELPERS.
Or at work, don’t ask a colleague to MANAGE a project……Ask them to be your project MANAGER! And with your own goals, start thinking of yourself as a RUNNER, a LIFTER, and a healthy EATER!
Notice a pattern? In most cases, Pink says you’re simply adding an “-er” to the end of action verbs. But that’s effective…… because where verbs tend to demand a change in one’s behavior – think “help,” “run” and “work,” nouns appeal to someone’s values and personal identity! As in, you’re a “helper” and a “hard worker!”
In fact, a study found that kids were a whopping 33% more likely to help with chores when adults asked them to be “a helper,” compared to asking them “Can you help me clean?”
It works the opposite way, too. When researchers gave people a test and told them, “Don’t be a cheater” – instead of “don’t cheat” – it cut unethical behavior in half! Because people don’t want to see themselves negatively.
Bottom line: To be more persuasive, try appealing to people’s identity in your requests.
What do you think? Ready to try this? Let me know your thoughts at [email protected]
